2.27.2013

Endless Possibilities and Potential

About a month ago Shaun and I were considering something BIG. Big enough that it never made it onto the blog, because we weren't sure what would happen with it. Now that the dust has settled, I felt like sharing a little since it was a big part of our January/February.

We were contemplating moving to Mexico City (temporarily) for Shaun's job to help get things rolling there with part of his work. For a couple of weeks, we were faced with the very real possibility of an international move. Even though it wasn't permanent, it was a big thing to consider. I don't speak much more Spanish than "hola," so that sounded terrifying. And yet it also sounded so exciting. What a cool opportunity! We both felt good about it. I could really envision us living there, (although the pollution there was a big concern with Bean's asthma). I researched Mexico City to pieces. We prayed about it a lot. In the end, the complexities that such a move would add to our hope of adopting soon made it clear that now isn't the time.

Even though we ended up deciding this wasn't the right time for us to move internationally, it was SO exciting to think about just the possibility of an adventure like that. I had trouble sleeping at night because I was planning how to learn Spanish and teach Bean it too. (By the way: The same issue of not being able to sleep due to sheer excitement is nothing new to me, it happens a lot when I imagine our future kids. Imagining this was mostly different because whether or not we went to Mexico was in our hands- scary!- while adoption stuff is not:) )

Anyway. So it was exhilarating to try to visualize such a foreign life for us, because frankly, I couldn't really imagine it. I've been to Tijuana before, but that's it, so I really don't know anything about living in Mexico (trust me, I know Tijuana doesn't count!). I do know that Shaun and I both have a big love for the Latin people and cultures, as well as a big love for sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ, which we'd be doing there. So it was amazing to imagine living that life.

It made me realize that our lives are always full of endless possibilities. Even if opportunities like moving to Mexico City don't come every day, there are a lot of rad possibilities ahead of us.

Sure it might not seem like it, seeing as we've been living in the same state for nearly 7 years, and our old "life plan" of moving to Houston expired in about 2008, when Shaun changed his major. Looking at how our life has panned out so far compared to our "plan" when we got married 5-1/2 years ago, the old Lanette would probably say our life now is kind of lame, living in the state we swore we'd never stay in, in an old house with lots of  "character" and plumbing issues (the "plan" was definitely to be living in a beautiful, custom-built new house with a large, perfectly manicured yard and a picket fence by now...ha!), just one kiddo so far (albeit the world's CUTEST little girl, who also happens to be a major miracle and blessing to us, so don't think I'm complaining!) When we got married though, I seriously mapped out our plan for when to start having kids, how for we'd space them apart....so much for being a planner. But really, I expected to have 3 kids by now and be talking about if we were ready to try for #4 sometime soon-ish. (WOW huh? We were planning on 8 kids when we got married. Were we crazy? Maybe. But that was our dream. Now our dream for how many kids we have is: "Whatever you think, Heavenly Father." No clue.)

So I'm pretty sure the old me would be a bit dismayed at my life if I could've seen into the future back then. But being where we are now, and knowing why I'm here, I wouldn't change a single thing. I love my life. I love being a mommy to my little girl and being able to focus on her every day (obviously I am so excited and looking forward to growing our family, but I am content with life as it is). I love our quirky old house. I even love living here (minus the crazy drivers and inversion). Obviously I'm looking forward to a newer house whenever we find the right one, and I am excited for our family to grow, but it's a really good life we're living here. I love being part of the adoption world. It's so beautiful. I love that Heavenly Father has blessed us with the trials that brought us to adoption. I know before adoption became part of our story I didn't understand it at all. I have vague memories of saying dumb things out of ignorance, the kind of things that make me cringe nowadays. I am so grateful that I'm learning about it now. The biggest unexpected blessings in my life that weren't part of my plan are definitely Beanie, and as part of her, adoption. I remember when she was born and we found out she had a birth defect that would keep her in a children's hospital NICU for a month, I thought "I'm not the kind of strong person who can handle this. I can't handle the emotions of adoption combined with the challenges of having a baby in the NICU." I am so thankful that Heavenly Father voided my plan, and gave me growing opportunities I didn't think I could bear, because they've made me who I am. Who I am today may sound less exciting and impressive on paper than my planned future me (the plan: wealthy, mom to lots of pretty much perfect kids, living in a place with no winter; the reality: definitely not wealthy but definitely blessed with plenty, mom to one kid so far, and she is practically perfect, but also way more fun and spicy and sweet than all 8 of my imaginary kids combined, and living in a place with a gross winter, but hey, it makes me appreciate summer all the more).

In essence, I am grateful for where we are today, and I'm excited to see where we go, and what our life looks like down the road. For now, I'm just trying to not plan too much- or at least, not get too attached to said plans. Because really, there's not much of a point ;)

4 comments:

  1. I really love this post. I think because I can relate so well... I'm such a planner myself, but if you had asked me 5 or 6 years ago if I could imagine myself where I am now, I would say heck no. But now I can't imagine life any other way! Heavenly Father gives us what we need to become better people and fulfill our greatest potential, even if it's not on our own personal drawing board. Mexico City would have definitely been an adventure during the present time, but who knows, maybe you'll find yourself there or somewhere similar someday in the distant future!

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  2. Wow, that would have been really different! I can see how that would inspire you to think about your life and your life plans.

    I'm glad that you're glad about where you guys are right now. I love your line - "I love that Heavenly Father has blessed us with the trials that brought us to adoption." That shows such a mature perspective and understanding. I want to be you when I grow up. :)

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  3. Absolutely love this post! Miss you guys a bunch :D

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thanks for commenting!

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