Open Adoption: Kent and Kayla's Story (Guest Post)

This post is by our friends Kent and Kayla who adopted their son almost 2 years ago, and have an open adoption with his birth family. It's beautiful! Enjoy!

Adoption is a relatively new experience to our family, but it is one we cherish greatly. After trying to get pregnant for several years, we were eventually guided to the decision to adopt.

We decided to go through LDS Family Services. Once we were approved to adopt through the agency, our birth mother Heather found us online within less than three months. At the time, she was about 6 months pregnant and had recently come to the decision to place her child for adoption. Through internet searches combined with much prayer, she found www.itsaboutlove.org. From there, she simply began searching different criteria she hoped to have in adoptive parents. We later learned that she had actually found several adoptive couples that she liked, and that we originally weren’t even on that list. But on the day she got online to make her decision, she couldn’t find any of those original couples. As she tried to look them up again, she said those couples all “fell away,” and there we were. She told us that as soon as she found our profile she knew we were supposed to adopt her son. She contacted us via email, and we immediately felt like we’d known her for years. Our relationship with Heather developed naturally over many in depth email conversations, and it wasn’t long before we were able to meet her in person.

When we were first being introduced to the adoption world, we were very unfamiliar with open adoption. The few family and friends that we had that had adopted before had all had closed adoptions. At first we were a little nervous about the idea. But as we learned more about the benefits and the pros to open adoption, we became more comfortable with the idea. After having the opportunity to meet several people (adoptive couples, birth mothers, and adopted children) who had chosen open adoption, we eventually came to the conclusion that open adoption was not only in our best interest, but also the best interest of our future child(ren) and birth parents.

From the very beginning, having an open adoption with our birth mother Heather has been a very natural process. We have tried very hard from the beginning to be honest with one another, and if ever there have been concerns on either side, we have tried to be up front and open about addressing those concerns before feelings got hurt. Communication has been key to our relationship. We are grateful to Heather for being so willing to work with us. She has from the beginning respected our boundaries, and we in return, have tried very hard to be conscientious of her feelings. Being open with one another has caused us to have a wonderful, loving relationship for one another.

We ended up having several visits with Heather during the last part of her pregnancy. She even came to our baby showers. Since the placement of our son Kyson, we have continued to have occasional visits with Heather. We also keep in touch via email and texting. We are grateful to have her in our lives, and we know that she was guided to our family.

We have recently also reached out to our birth father. We have had several email conversations back and forth getting to know one another, and we have shared a few pictures of Kyson. He has been very gracious for our contact, and has been very respectful to us as Kyson’s parents. He has also expressed his love for Kyson and his gratitude that he is with a loving family.

We are grateful every day for our wonderful birth parents and their decision to place our darling son with us. He is a blessing in our lives, and we recognize the love and sacrifice it took for him to become a part of our forever family. We are also grateful to have a relationship with our birth mother and birth father. We are grateful for the love they have for Kyson and for the ways they have chosen to express that love. We love the visits we have with Heather and look forward to those visits, especially as Kyson grows old enough to understand more about his adoption and the special way he came to our family.

We are Kent, Kayla, and Kyson Nixon. We are hoping to add another sweet spirit into our family. We love to play outside, travel and visit family, play sports, eat food, watch movies, and try new things. Kyson is 19 months old and can’t wait to have a baby brother or sister to play with! You can learn more by going to www.itsaboutlove.org and searching our names (we live in Utah). You can also check out our blog at www.kentandkayla.blogspot.com

Don't forget to share this post on facebook to enter the giveaway of your choice an additional time. Just tag our adoption facebook page and comment on the post with your giveaway of choice saying that you shared this post on facebook. Be sure to include your email address so that we can be sure to reach you if you win! 

Be sure to also read our friends Bryce and Brenley's post on their open adoption stories! 

Also don't forget to comment and share your thoughts on this beautiful story! :)

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